SEGMENT 22 of the musical "CANDELESCENCE" (written by Secretary Michael); illustrations by Jennifer Stolzer); the latest SCRIPT is found below; click to find the sheet music to this segment's necessary songs: "Jeeno Casino", "Concert Sequence - 1st Half", "Student Concert (vocal score)", "Student Concert (piano accompaniment)", "Concert Sequence - 2nd Half" and "We are the Fountains".

Segment 22: Jeeno Casino

(a quiet concert hall and stage; a trio of treble voices [the “MC3”] serve as the Masters of Ceremony; an opening act [the Bobbing Bambinos] precedes the children’s performance)

MC3
(sung acappella)
BETTER THAN VEGAS!
BETTER THAN RENO!
ONLY RIGHT HERE AT THE JEENO CASINO!
YOUR CHANCE OF A LIFETIME!

MC3 (CONT’D)
From Jeeno Casino! Our very own band!
The Bobbing Bambinos! Let’s give them a hand!

(audience applauds)

(music begins; an adult vocal ensemble [optionally dressed as babies with large light blue bows tied bonnetlike atop the male heads, and large pink bows tied similarly atop the female heads] run onstage and sing the Jeeno Casino song while bobbing up and down)

BOBBING BAMBINOS
(dancing and singing)

THE JEENO CASINO IN FRONT OF US LAY
A LONG TIME AGO ON CONCEPTION DAY
BEFORE WE WENT IN TO PLAY THE BIG GAME
EACH ONE OF US WAS EXACTLY THE SAME

ARM IN ARM, ALL US BAMBINOS
ALL ON OUR WAY TO THE JEENO CASINO
EQUAL WERE WE, STRAIGHT TO THE CORE
EQUAL WERE WE AS WE WENT THROUGH THE DOOR

(during the following “Big Wheel” section, the bobbing stops and the now serious Bambinos divide in half and solemnly walk backwards to either side of the stage with an arm extended towards the wheel as a big “Wheel of Chance” begins spinning on the back wall of the stage)

AND THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (BIG WHEEL SPUN)
DIFF’RENT PEOPLE WE BECOME
AND THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (BIG WHEEL SPUN)
WINNERS, LOSERS EV’RYONE

TO EACH WINNER, TO EACH LOSER
LET NO BLAME OR CREDIT COME
WHAT’S DONE IS DONE (WHAT’S DONE IS DONE)
CUZ THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (CUZ THE BIG WHEEL SPUN)
(Bambinos run back together and start bobbing again)

IT SPIN AND IT SPUN AND IT SPUN AND IT SPAN
SPUN DIFFERENT WOMAN, SPUN DIFFERENT MAN
SPUN DIFFERENT HEARTS, SPUN DIFFERENT BRAINS
NEVER AGAIN WOULD WE ALL BE THE SAME

ARM IN ARM, ALL US BAMBINOS
ALL WINNIN’ STUFF AT THE JEENO CASINO
“BASSO PROFUNDO” (sung by single low bass)
“SOPRANINO” (sung by a single high soprano)
WE WON IT ALL AT THE JEENO CASINO

(Bambinos stop; separate as before; the big wheel spins again)

AND THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (BIG WHEEL SPUN)
DIFF’RENT PEOPLE WE BECOME
AND THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (BIG WHEEL SPUN)
WINNERS, LOSERS EV’RYONE

AND THOSE OF US WHO KNOW THE WHEEL, WE KNOW WHAT MUST BE DONE
MUST HELP OUR FELLOW LOSERS WITH THE WINNINGS WE HAVE WON
MUST NOT LET PEOPLE SUFFER FOR THE THINGS THAT LUCK HAS DONE
WHAT’S DONE IS DONE (WHAT’S DONE IS DONE)
CUZ THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (CUZ THE BIG WHEEL SPUN)

(Bambinos run back together and start bobbing again)

WITH ALL THE SAME ODDS, WITH ALL THE SAME CHANCE
SOME COME OUT CRIPPLED WHILE OTHER ONES DANCE
SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO WHEN THE SPINNING HAS SPUN?
SHARE ALL OUR WINNINGS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE NONE

ARM IN ARM, ALL US BAMBINOS
ALL OF US CHANGED BY THE JEENO CASINO
EQUAL ARE WE, STRAIGHT TO THE CORE
EQUAL ARE WE AS WE DANCE OUT THE DOOR

(Bambinos stop, separate as before; big wheel spins again)

AND THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (BIG WHEEL SPUN)
DIFF’RENT PEOPLE WE BECOME
AND THE BIG WHEEL SPUN (BIG WHEEL SPUN)
WINNERS, LOSERS EV’RYONE

(audience applauds as the Bambinos bow and exit stage)

MC3
(singing over the audience applause)
BETTER THAN VEGAS!
BETTER THAN RENO!
ONLY RIGHT HERE AT THE JEENO CASINO!
YOUR CHANCE OF A LIFETIME!

MC3 (CONT’D)
Now the time has come for us to face the main event
To put away our prejudice and all our discontent
To clear our minds of tragedies these kids have never known
And welcome ev’ry one of them as children of our own.

Students from America you have our high regard
You have learned our language and have studied very hard
Students from our Garden School have learned a language too
And now it’s time to celebrate what languages can do

(the audience applauds as the students enter, marching from both sides of the stage; the Candelescent High students are wearing their yellow sweatshirts; the younger Garden School students are wearing their everyday school clothes, but with headbands; both songs are in 2-part harmony, with the Garden School students singing melody; music begins)

STUDENTS
(singing “We are the Scientists”)
WE ARE THE SCIENTISTS IN EV’RY LITTLE THING WE DO.
WE ARE THE SCIENTISTS BECAUSE WE LOOK FOR WHAT IS TRUE,
AND ‘CAUSE WE TEST AND TEST AND TEST AND TEST
UNTIL THE THINGS WE DO WE DO OUR BEST
WE ARE THE SCIENTISTS!

THINGS TO LEARN AND THINGS TO DO AND FRIENDSHIPS TO BE MADE,
DIFF’RENT PEOPLE, DIFF’RENT PLACES, WE ARE NOT AFRAID!

WE ARE THE SCIENTISTS IN EV’RY LITTLE THING WE DO.
WE ARE THE SCIENTISTS BECAUSE WE LOOK FOR WHAT IS TRUE,
AND ‘CAUSE WE TEST AND TEST AND TEST AND TEST
UNTIL THE THINGS WE DO WE DO OUR BEST
WE ARE THE SCIENTISTS!

STUDENTS (CONT’D)
(singing “Do What We Do”)
WE’VE GOT TO:
WORK HOW WE WORK, JUST A LITTLE BIT HARDER,
PLAN HOW WE PLAN, JUST A LITTLE BIT SMARTER,
COUNT EV’RY NUMBER AND WRITE EV’RY LETTER
DO WHAT WE DO, JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER

GOTTA LIVE LIKE WE LIVE, WITH A LITTLE MORE VIGOR,
SMILE LIKE WE SMILE, BUT A LITTLE BIT BIGGER,
WHATEVER THE HOUR OR WHATEVER THE WEATHER
GOTTA DO WHAT WE DO JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

ONE, TWO, WHAT WE GOTTA DO?
THREE, FOUR, EV’RY LITTLE CHORE
GOTTA DO WHAT WE DO WHAT WE DO WHAT WE DO
WHAT WE DO WHAT WE DO, PLUS A LITTLE BIT MORE

GOTTA WORK HOW WE WORK, JUST A LITTLE BIT HARDER,
PLAN HOW WE PLAN, JUST A LITTLE BIT SMARTER
COUNT EV’RY NUMBER AND WRITE EV’RY LETTER
DO WHAT WE DO, JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

ONE, TWO, WHAT WE GOTTA DO?
THREE, FOUR, EV’RY LITTLE CHORE
GOTTA DO WHAT WE DO WHAT WE DO WHAT WE DO
WHAT WE DO WHAT WE DO, PLUS A LITTLE BIT MORE.

(audience applauds)

MC3
(over the audience applause)
BETTER THAN VEGAS!
BETTER THAN RENO!
ONLY RIGHT HERE AT THE JEENO CASINO!

(the GGG nationalists, Tweedle, Deedle and Dum, dressed in camouflage fatigues, rush onto the stage blowing whistles and brandishing their weapons)

TWEEDLE, DEEDLE, DUM
(blowing whistles and shouting random commands to the audience)
“That’s it! Show’s over! We’re closin’ this place down! Everybody must leave! Now!”

(teachers and other adults run on-stage from behind the curtain and stand protectively in front of the children)

MC3
(singing in 3-part harmony)
YOUR CHANCE OF A LIFETIME!

DUM
You! Shut-up your big mouths!

MC3
(singing in 3-part harmony)
SHUT-UP YOUR BIG MOUTHS.

TWEEDLE, DEEDLE, DUM
(incensed, shouting in unison at the MC3)
Shut-up your big mouths!

MC3
(singing in 3-part harmony)
SHUT-UP YOUR BIG MOUTHS.

TWEEDLE, DEEDLE, DUM
(shouting again in unison at the MC3)
Shut-up your big mouths!

MC3
(singing in 3-part harmony)
THIS IS AN OP’RA. OP’RAS ARE SUNG.
SHUT-UP YOUR BIG MOUTHS.

TWEEDLE, DEEDLE, DUM
(stammer a bit, then hesitantly sing in 3-part harmony)
SHUT-UP YOUR BIG MOUTHS?

MC3
(smile and give an “O.K” handsign)

(Toolie begins to stagger down to the stage from the audience, a bit inebriated; he is dressed in the same military camouflage outfit as the GGG, but with floppy shoes and a pink shower cap; he carries a toilet plunger as a gun)

TOOLIE
(to the GGG)
One-a, Two-a, Three-a! How’s you all be?
I’m a GGG too-a! So don’t forgets me! Them

Songs were really dandy, but still I likes the most
The song we always singin’ at our weenie roast!

(music begins; Toolie begins singing - with a little dance; the GGG sneak out in embarrassment)

WE’RE THE GOOD GUYS WITH GUNS!
WE KNOW SO MUCH MORE THAN ALL YOU OTHER ONES!
WE GOT MORE THAN PhD’S – WE GOT LOBOTOMIES!
WE’RE THE GOOD GUYS! (echoes himself with a different voice)
WE’RE THE GOOD GUYS! (echoes himself with a different voice)
WE’RE THE GOOD GUYS, THE GOOD GUYS WITH GUNS!

(Toolie stops and points to where the other 3 Nationalists had been)

TOOLIE (CONT'D)
Buddies, Buddies, where you be? One-a, two-a, three-a?
Probably they had to pee – or else gots diarrhea

Diarrhea ain’t no fun. Always gotta poo
(puts hand on his bottom)
All this talkin’ ‘bout the runs, now I gots ‘em too!

(Toolie sneezes loudly; a yellow mucus covers his beard [lemon pie filling works])

Woo! I’d like to show them this – if I had some friends
First below and now on top! It’s comin’ out both ends!

(Toolie licks the mucus off his beard to the disgust of the audience.)

STUDENTS
(singing)
WHO ARE YOU?

TOOLIE
(singing)
OH, I’M THE FLUSH
OH, I’M THE FLUSH
I KNOWS WHAT I KNOWS BUT I DON’T KNOWS MUCH

TOOLIE
(singing)
AND WHO ARE YOU?

STUDENTS:
(singing)
WE ARE THE FOUNTAINS! WE ARE THE FOUNTAINS!
SPURTING, SPOUTING, LAUGHING, SHOUTING!
(BUBBLE, BUBBLE), (BUBBLE, BUBBLE), (BUBBLE, BUBBLE), (BUBBLE, BUBBLE)
SPURTING, SPOUTING, LAUGHING, SHOUTING!
SPLISHING, SPLASHING, SMISHING, SMASHING!
(BUBBLE, BUBBLE), (BUBBLE, BUBBLE), (BUBBLE, BUBBLE), (BUBBLE, BUBBLE)
SPURT AND SPOUT AND LAUGH AND SHOUT AND

YOU CAN BE A FOUNTAIN TOO,
THERE’S ONLY ONE THING THAT YOU HAVE TO DO:
DESTROY YOUR GUNS AND TRY TO SEE
THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD AS YOUR FAMILY. FAMILY.

TOOLIE
(singing surreptitiously to audience)
OR KEEP YOUR GUNS, OR KEEP YOUR GUNS,
OR KEEP YOUR GUNS AND BE LIKE ME.

(audience laughs)

(audience applauds)

MC3
(over the audience applause)
BETTER THAN VEGAS!
BETTER THAN RENO!
ONLY RIGHT HERE AT THE JEENO CASINO!
(YOUR CHANCE OF A LIFETIME)

TWIMFINA
Whether you are here with us or whether you’re at home
Whether you have “X” or have a “Y” chromosome
Whether you’re an older one or whether you are young
There are common goals we share that sometimes must be sung

(reaching her hand down to Toolie)

So come on up here, Toolie, there’s no need for more pretendings.
And let’s all give this opera the happiest of endings.

END OF SEGMENT 22

Go to Segment 23